It hurts to love someone when we can't tell them what we really feel...
because sometimes we get hurt without them knowing.
We get jealous even if we have no right to feel that way.
We want their time even if we are not in the position to demand for it.
Although our hearts are breaking in silence, we still continue to love them,
because somehow in this hurtful love there is still hope of having simple moments
with them even if it means being just a friend.
Banyak yang mengatakan hidup itu pilihan,
berarti kita memilih
satu arah kedepannya, arah yang akan menjadikan kita manusia seutuhnya,
bukan manusia abal abal yang hanya di lahirkan untuk memenuhi bumi...
When I was in junior high school, my parents told me that if I want to
be happy in the future, than I have to go to high school. I don't know
exactly whether it's true or not. I'm just followed their desire, become
a college student. Yeah, being a college student, it means
that
I have to spend my life in prison at least 4 years more. It's a long
time. I have been spent my life for 6 years at elementary school, 3
years at junior school, 3 years at senior high school, and I enjoyed it
so much, because I've nothing to be scared. I could saw my self, I knew
who I really was, I knew my direction, and I could imagined what my
future looks like. But now? everything become dark, my destiny, my hope,
even my future.
You maybe
thinking that I have been insane, not grateful for what I have got,
stupid or something like that. Go on, you're able to say that fucking
stupid shit things, I wouldn't judged.
The question is:
Why
do you thing like that? don't you happy become a college student? don't
you happy if everyone know that you are a college student?
let me answered that shit:
First, I think like that because I was desperate. I have tried to
convince myself that I'm gonna be success in the future. But there were
two big questions that come out of my mind. Should have I wait so long
to get there, sacrifice my feelings (lecture hold the rule, they're
always right, and we're always wrong) ? and what is success means? my
friends didn't need waiting too long to get that shit, and even they
didn't go to the college. Police perhaps, or able to buy something wow
like motorcycles, or cars. And people say that they have success.
huuuh how stupid I'm thinking like this shit.
Is there anybody out there who can open up my fucking mind squint emoticon
Please comments!!!
Tell me that I was wrong, or tell me that I was right!
